How a therapist copes with her own anxiety.

Jackie Shapin, LMFT

Therapists are human, just like anyone who decides to sit across from us. I know anxiety very well and have had a lot of practice using coping strategies. I am not perfect at it, however, I do have a few tricks up my sleeve. There are a lot of anxiety-relieving techniques that I try to utilize when I am feeling stressed and/or worried.

When I am feeling anxious, I practice breathing exercises. Using your breath can reduce anxiety & regulate your emotions. Exhaling longer than your inhale helps slow down your nervous system. As a result, your heart rate will slow down, sending a message to the brain that everything is more peaceful and calm. Square breathing and 4-7-8 breathing (my favorite) are both breathing practices that help reduce your anxiety. They can also help you fall asleep.

When I need something fast to balance my emotions (snap me back to the moment), I will use grounding exercises. I sometimes use this skill in sessions when I notice emotions brewing. I also practice grounding myself when I am worried and feel disconnected.

Grounding helps bring you to the present moment. Anxiety is usually about the past or future so grounding yourself helps bring you to the here and now, which will lessen your anxiety, both physically and emotionally. Grounding can also help calm you whenever you are feeling emotionally charged.

A simple grounding exercise is simply putting your feet on the floor. Notice them on the ground. Just doing this can ground you. To deepen this exercise, even more, you can visualize roots growing from your feet into the ground. You can also take your shoes off and put your bare feet on the ground. 

A popular grounding exercise is the 54321 technique. Using your senses helps bring you to the present moment. In this exercise, you begin by noticing five things you hear, four things you see, three things you can touch (touch these different things), two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. It can help to say these things out loud. 

More recently, I have been practicing acceptance. There is a lot out of our control and sometimes our only option is to ride the wave and accept that things are the way they are, and that is ok. Taking the acceptance route means you don’t fight the thoughts or challenge them. It means you accept the feelings you have, honor them by reminding yourself that it’s ok to have them, invite them to stay, and sit with the discomfort. It will pass (sometimes when you fight the thoughts, they only grow stronger) Acceptance can be difficult because it means sitting with discomfort. However, in the long run, this is a game-changer! The more comfortable you are with discomfort, the better your ability to tolerate difficult situations!

Other skills I use to decrease my anxiety include: calling a friend or family member I am close with, mindful movement, napping, and walking outside. I have been loving these 15-minute Kinrgy dance classes on Instagram, as well as taking Megan Lera's Instagram live pilates classes!

If you like what you see, check out Jackie Shapin’s Instagram for more.